Not to be coy, but I have one more post before we get into our exercises. (got a notebook yet?)
I wanted to address a question that, if it has never occurred to you, has most certainly pestered me.
I know God doesn’t want me to be depressed…Why hasn’t HE fixed me?!
I’ve begged Him - with tears streaming down my face - “LORD, please help me. Please fix me. Please heal me. I can’t do it on my own. PLEASE…” Sound familiar?
Here’s what Dr O’Shields had to say about that question:
Deep down I knew the victory over my depression was to be found in God, but I had not been able to discover how. I could not get hold of what I was to do. I had prayed and begged God for an immediate victory and healing. I believed God could do that, yet it didn’t happen.
He countered my disappointment by making it clear that I was to be involved in my healing. It would not come by sovereign decree as a miracle, rather through a self-involved spiritual process.
[…] He does on occasion supernaturally heal people of all kinds of infirmities. But this was apparently not His plan for my depression. I believe in my case, and with most cases of depression, God considers it important for the person to be involved in his own healing.
When I read this, I felt that little zing!… or maybe it was a Well, duh! - sometimes they’re similar. 
I have a little story to tell you from our trip to Colorado. Our first full day there we went to Garden of the Gods.
So beautiful. So awe inspiring. So full of long sidewalks….especially if you’re small. My four year old, Benjamin, who was not in a good mood for much of the trip grew weary very quickly of the walking. His speech is still quite delayed - so he couldn’t tell us if his legs hurt, or if he was just bored with park. His little brother was still running everywhere, so we didn’t think Benny was worn out yet. But he wanted to be carried. Specifically, he wanted my mom to carry him - and that is not good for her knees. Then he wanted me to carry him. I’m in better shape, but not that much better. He’s small for his age, but he’s still pushing forty pounds! He didn’t want my dad. And frankly, my dad didn’t want him. Rather, he wanted Benny to walk.
Well. Benjamin is hands-down the most stubborn of my stubborn children. He wasn’t going to walk and that was that. He flung himself facedown on the sidewalk, and would NOT get up. His doting Nana did not want him spanked - and I know it wouldn’t have worked anyway. He was done. That’s all there was to it. My father told us to continue walking. He would stay with Benjamin.
My mom and I thought that my dad was trying to win the battle with this pint size will of iron. We chuckled as we walked along, and I turned and snapped this picture.
My dad didn’t entreat Benjamin to get up and walk. He didn’t really talk to him much at all as far as I know. When we got back we were still chuckling at how my dad had not won. He corrected our misapprehension of the situation. He wasn’t trying to win, he told us. He was simply staying with Benjamin so we could finish our walk. You could almost say he was watching over him. We were now done. So my dad picked him up and carried him. We were almost to the parking lot by the time Benny decided to walk - to the car.
Benjamin missed the rest of the walk. He missed all the beauty and wonder. True, he’s four and won’t remember or care. But I know what he missed, if he had just had eyes to see it and the will to walk.
You see my point, I’m sure.
God does that with us, I think. Sometimes we are flat out on the floor, too mulish to move for whatever reason. Our Father never abandons us. He stands there and waits until we’re ready to step forward on the journey or until he takes us out of the situation. But oh, what have we missed if we don’t take the walk? There is so much to learn and see and experience if we will only get up and walk. We can be awed by His Majesty as we look around with new eyes and see what He has for us. We can come out the other side changed. That’s why He won’t just do it for us. We need to take the walk.
Okay so I am experiencing my typical fall headache today (and along with it I am ever so grumpy) and when I saw your picture it made me laugh out loud. I can SOOO relate with that picture! I love your dad standing there all stoic with his arms crossed.
Comment by Mandi — October 11, 2006 @ 10:01 am
Why oh why is it I see myself in that picture???????
Comment by Maria — October 11, 2006 @ 7:09 pm