Why me? (blest)

I don’t know about you, but I have been known to get rather pouty about the fact that I struggle with depression (and weight for that matter) I mean really, not everybody has to deal with this. As a matter of fact, in Slaying the Giant, Dr. O’Shields cites a statistic which says that “Approximately 10% of the population will experience clinical depression sometime during their life. This means 90% never will.” Only ten percent. And I’m in the elite group…lucky me!

I’ve been known to get a little perturbed about that. Why me? Why would God make me with the combination of traits and tendencies which lead to this struggle? And for that matter, why do I have ADD and why do I struggle with weight? After all - there are a lot of people out there who just seem to be able to eat when they’re hungry, stop when they’re full, and enjoy being physically active. They don’t have to fight to be a decent weight- they just are! (and I try not to throw things at them or make faces behind their backs. ) So why me?

Of course, I could just as easily ask why I ended up fairly bright, reasonably talented, financially stable, and fairly healthy with all my limbs and senses intact, plus with four healthy children and a nice husband. I could ask Why Me to all that -but that isn’t as much fun.

I ran across this paragraph in Packer’s Knowing God which sheds some light on the whole Why Me question:

We should not, therefore, be too taken aback when unexpected and upsetting and discouraging things happen to us now. What do they mean? Simply that God in his wisdom means to make something of us which we have not attained yet, and he is dealing with us accordingly.

Perhaps he means to strengthen us in patience, good humor, compassion, humility or meekness, by giving us some extra practice in exercising these graces under especially difficult conditions. Perhaps he has new lessons in self-denial or self-distrust to teach us. Perhaps he wishes to break us of complacency, or unreality, or undetected forms of pride and conceit. Perhaps his purpose is simply to draw us closer to himself in conscious communion with him… Or perhaps God is preparing us for forms of service of which at present we have no inkling.

I emphasized “unreality” because it will be very important later on.

That is certainly what happened to Dr. O’Shields. He thought his ability to minister was over after he left our church in North Carolina. But after his voyage through the darkness of depression and out the other side, he found a whole new ministry in helping others still in the shadows. I don’t anticipate that every one of us is destined to write books and give conferences about depression, but who knows how God is using this for His own purposes?

Ultimately, the “why” doesn’t matter. We are who we are and God is who He is. For whatever reason, we struggle with depression. The why is in His hand, and He may or may not reveal it to us. What we can look at and actually get somewhere is a)How we got into the darkness and b)How we’re going to get out. We’ll get to both of us those in the next few posts, but for now I will stop with another quote from Packer:

Whatever future purpose a Christian’s troubles may or may not have in equipping him for future service, they will always have that purpose which Paul’s thorn in the flesh had: They will have been sent us to make and keep us humble and to give us a new opportunity of showing forth the power of Christ in our mortal lives. And do we ever need to know any more about them than that? Is not this enough in itself to convince us of the wisdom of God in them? Once Paul saw that his trouble was sent him to enable him to glorify Christ, he accepted it as wisely appointed and even rejoiced in it. God give us grace, in all our own troubles, to go and do likewise.

Selah.