I had to go shopping on Saturday. For clothes. And shoes.
Had to go. Isn’t it sad that I say it that way? I got to spend money on myself! I got to have brand new items! I’m blessed to be able to have them.
But the only reason I went is because I was absolutely in total desperate need to have some items. I dislike buying clothes for myself. No, let me rephrase that. I absolutely detest every step of the process of buying clothes for myself.
It wasn’t always this way. I loved to browse and plan and stretch my budget as far as it would go. I remember shopping for my wedding dress and what a good time we had. I remember buying a special dress for a date with my husband. I remember finding new jeans that I loved. Ah, yes, I remember it well…
But those memories are from a long time ago. Instead, I was going shopping because I *had* to shop. Because I *needed* a new pair of jeans, and a nice pair of pants, and hopefully a new nice shirt. I braced myself as I walked into the store.
And was pleasantly surprised by my emotions. Instead of berating myself for my weight, and moaning about my present clothing size, I simply picked out items and tried them on. Instead of crying inside that I couldn’t try on any of the cute stuff in the Misses department, I was excited to think that next year…even as close as next summer, I may be browsing in that department. I doubt I’ll be done with this weight journey - but wow, the thought of being able to buy smaller clothing? It was a real possibility this time in my mind. And that made all the difference to my internal attitude.
Shoe shopping was another revelation. I hate shoe shopping, even when thin. I have wide feet, and always have. It’s hard to try on shoes when very few places have wide shoes. And when you’re this heavy, even your feet suffer the effects of weight gain. I had to really talk to myself this time, as I browsed. The thoughts arose - why am I bothering. Nothing I like will fit. This is hopeless. Then it occurred to me - when I lose enough weight, there will be a positive effect on my feet too! And I liked that thought a lot.
Enough to go to yet another shoe store… and finally found a nice pair of shoes like I was looking for.
I thought I’d pass these thoughts on and see if they help anyone else. Maybe I’m the only one who endures clothes shopping but maybe not!
And don’t forget Tracy- there’s all sorts of cute clothes awaiting you in the Hand Me Ups!! Think of that ball gown I promised you! And you’re right about the feet - mine are already getting better!
Comment by blestwithsons — September 5, 2006 @ 5:46 am
Sigh…I haven’t gone in and tried anything on in probably 2 years. I did buy myself a top and pants back in march but the pants didn’t fit when I got them home…they still don’t.
I remember a time when I’d go clothing shopping and actually enjoyed it…it’s been a long time ago for me too. I think for me, it gets easy to ignore the sizes when I’m wearing my husbands shirts or my very very old stuff. But when you go clothes shopping you have to look at sizes.
I’m glad you were able to have a better attitude than I’m sure I would have lol. Enjoy your new duds. Oh and I have somewhat wide feet also.
Comment by Blair — September 5, 2006 @ 8:06 am
When I got down to my first 10% goal at Weight Watchers, I was so excited. Before then, I couldn’t even fit into the plus sizes that Walmart carried - I had to buy from Lane Bryant or Roamans. Now I can fit into the Walmart plus sizes. Eventually, I’ll fit into their regular sizes. But for now I’m excited that I can buy clothes at Walmart. Especially cause they’re cheaper and I don’t expect to wear them for long…as I keep going down in size. (I know that many people are opposed to Walmart, but I live in an extremely rural area that has two grocery stores and Walmart. That’s it.)
Comment by Carrie — September 5, 2006 @ 5:53 pm