…and I’m……………((gulp))….I’m….seriously overweight…nope couldn’t say the “f” word. I am a believer in Jesus Christ and resident of Texas (although temporarily located in Kansas). I’ve been married to Erik for 11 years and I’m the mother of 4 living children (8, 6, 4, 2). Now for how I got here…
My Story
My journey with weight began when I was 12 when a well-meaning relative smacked me on the rear and commented, “Puttin’ on a few back there.” I was mortified! I’d seen many people in my family battle their weight and I did not want to be ffffat. It was at that point I began the starve/binge method of losing weight and I started obsessing over exercise. I’ve had an unhealthy relationship with food ever since. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t overweight at all then. I look back at pictures and think “wow, how warped my view of myself was”.
My mother would constantly ride me to “eat, eat”, she had no idea that I was….just in secret. Of course, then I would feel guilty and not eat for a bit. Such a vicious cycle. By the time I met my husband, I’d figured out that I could eat whatever I wanted as long as I worked out hard 1-2 hours a day (thanks to military basic training). Well, of course that sounded like a good deal to me. I continued this until I found out I was pregnant with our first child. The working out ceased because I felt so horrible all the time. Of course, the eating didn’t. I ate and ate and put on 79 lbs with my first pregnancy. Then my darling son was stillborn at almost 42 weeks, and I was left with only my weight. I can honestly say that I know what depression is. My ridiculous view of food continued as some sort of “comfort”.
By the time my third child was born, I was fed up with my size and I began to seek the Lord and dove into books on nutrition and exercise. I devised a plan for myself from several plans combined and managed to lose 105 lbs in about a year. I was at my goal weight and felt the best I had in years. Unfortunately, I began to look at myself as though “I’d done it” and stopped giving God all the glory. Then, a series of injuries and ultimately a fourth pregnancy sent me right back to where I was. Depression struck again when I miscarried our fifth baby. We immediately got pregnant again with our sixth (fourth living). By the end of that pregnancy I’d hit an all time high of 256.6 lbs. I am 5′5″ so you can imagine what I looked like.
That was just over 2 years ago and I’ve grappled with my view of food ever since. I didn’t want to just jump right back into a diet plan, I knew I needed to face some cold hard issues (and facts) first. I needed to really seek God on this matter…and so I did. It’s been an emotional 2 years of discovery (good and bad) but I am finally headed in a better direction with my health.
The plan I’m doing
I’m in the process of writing up a plan for gaining a healthier perspective on food - ironically it’s called “The GAINWeigh…to a healthier you”. It is the plan I’ll be following during my journey here. As of last Friday I weighed in at 214.4 lbs. I believe I need to lose about 79.4 lbs total.
Reasons I want to change?
- My body is the Temple of God and I should treat it as such!
- Reflect in my outward appearance what I truly believe (faith and reliance on God alone)
- Be healthy
- To “wow” my wonderful husband
- Be a better example to my kids (8, 6, 4, 2)
- Have more energy
- Unveil the real me whose been hiding in this fat prison for too long
- So I can tie my shoes without hurting myself.
- I would love to fit back into my cute clothes - these x-large t-shirts are really getting old!
My other blog home 
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Scribblings by Blair
Welcome, Blair.
So glad to have you with us.
Comment by lady laura — July 27, 2006 @ 11:00 am
Welcome Blair! Sounds like you’re well on your way to a healthier you!
Comment by Lorri — July 27, 2006 @ 11:02 am
Wow Blair! I didn’t know our kids were the same ages! Freaky!
I’m glad you’re here! Welcome, welcome!
Comment by blestwithsons — July 27, 2006 @ 11:10 am
Thanks guys - I’m really looking forward to getting to know you. Support is huge and I’m so thankfulf for the opportunity to be a part of this.
Hey Blest, I didn’t know that either! Wow! I assume you have all boys lol…just kidding, I knew that. We’ve got mostly girls lol.
Comment by Blair — July 27, 2006 @ 1:21 pm
Welcome Blair - I love this one “Unveil the real me whose been hiding in this fat prison for too long” - that’s how I feel so often. I want to show off “ME” - the me I feel inside. And it will be easier to do when I’ve stepped outside the prison walls.
Comment by Tracy — July 27, 2006 @ 1:24 pm