This is a column written by Chuck Swindoll that my Bible Study leader read this week. We’re studying our roles as wives this year, but so many of the past few lessons have been about choices and are applicable to what we are all dealing with in the area of weight loss, so I thought I’d share.
Can’t or Won’t?
No offense, but some of you don’t have any business reading this today. Normally, I do not restrict my column to any special group of people. But now I must. This time it is for Christians only. Everything I write from now to the end is strictly for the believer in Christ. If you’re not there yet, you can toss this aside because you lack a major ingredient: the power of God. Non-Christians are simply unable to choose righteous paths consistently. That divine response upon which the Christian can (and must) draw is not at the unbeliever’s disposal. That is, not until personal faith in Jesus Christ is expressed.
But if you know the Lord, you are the recipient of limitless ability…incredible strength. Just read a few familiar lines out of the Book, slowly for a change:
…’My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.’ Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may dwell in me. (2 Cor. 12:9)
For this reason I bow my knees before the Father…that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man. (Eph. 4:14, 16)
…He has granted to us His precious and magnificent promises, in order that by them you might become partakers of the divine nature. (2 Pet. 1:4)
And one more…
No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, that you may be able to endure it. (1 Cor. 10:13)
Wait a minute now. Did you read every word - or did you skip a line or two? If so, please go back and slowly graze over those five statements written to you, a Christian. It’s really important.
Okay, what thought stands out the most? Well, if someone asked me that question, I’d say, ’special strength or an unusual ability from God.’ In these verses it’s called several things: strength, power, divine nature, ability. God has somehow placed into the Christian’s insides a special something, that extra inner reservoir of power that is more than a match for the stuff life throws at us. When in operation, phenomenal accomplishments are achieved, sometimes even miraculous.
Let’s get specific.
It boils down to the choice of two common words in our vocabulary. Little words, but oh, so different! ‘Can’t’ and ‘won’t.’
We prefer to use ‘can’t':
~’I just can’t get along with my wife.’
~’My husband and I can’t communicate.’
~’I can’t discipline my kids like I should.’
~’I just can’t give up the affair I’m having.’
~’I can’t stop overeating.’
~’I can’t find the time to pray.’
~’I can’t quit gossiping.’Now, any Christian who really takes those five passages we just looked at (there are dozens more) will have to confess the word really should be ‘won’t.’ Why? Because we have been given the power, the ability to overcome. Literally! And therein lies hope in hoisting anchors that would otherwise hold us in the muck and mire of blame and self-pity.
One of the best books you can read this year on overcoming depression is a splendid work by two physicians, Minirth and Meier, appropriately entitled Happiness is a Choice. These men agree:
“As psychiatrists we cringe whenever (Christian) patients use the word can’t….Any good psychiatrist knows that ‘I can’t’ and ‘I’ve tried’ are merely lame excuses. We insist that our patients be honest with themselves and use language that expresses the reality of the situation. So we have our patients change the can’ts to won’ts….If the individual changes all his can’ts to won’ts, he stops avoiding the truth, quits deceiving himself, and starts living in reality…”
What a difference one word makes!
~’I just won’t get along with my wife.’
~’My husband and I won’t communicate.’
~’I won’t discipline the kids like I should.’
~’I won’t stop overeating.’
~’I won’t find the time to pray.’
~’I won’t quit gossiping.’Non-Christians have every right and reason to use ‘can’t,’ because they really can’t! They are victims, trapped and bound like slaves in a fierce and endless struggle. Without Christ and His power, they lack what it takes to change permanently. They don’t because they can’t!
But people like us? Hey, let’s face it, we don’t because we won’t…we disobey because we want to, not because we have to…because we choose to, not because we’re forced to. The sooner we are willing to own up realistically to our responsibility and stop playing the blame game at pity parties for ourselves, the more we’ll learn and change and the less we’ll burn and blame.
Wish I could find a less offensive way to comnmunicate all this, but I just can’t.
Oops!
~Chuck Swindoll
Convicting, huh? Just what I needed this week. And shortly afterwards came Blest’s challenge. I’m excited - and ready to stop using “I can’t” as an excuse. How about you?
Here’s my first memory verse for the challenge:
“His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.” 2 Peter 1:3 NIV
OW!! Quit it!
My “I
can’twon’t”?I just
can’twon’t get organized and stay on top of my housework and consistently homeschool my kids.Excuse me. There’s some sackcloth and ashes with my name on it…
Comment by blestwithsons — November 5, 2006 @ 7:09 pm
Blest, I know. That’s how I felt on Wednesday when Terry read this aloud to us. I’ve been using the I can’t alot with my eating, with dealing with my depression over leaving our church, etc. It hurts to realize/admit that I have a choice in these matters. But I guess it’s the first step, right?
Comment by Carrie — November 5, 2006 @ 7:40 pm