I tell you what. Habits are a GOOD thing. This has been, without a doubt, the hardest day of my entire diet. (yeah I know, it’s really a “lifestyle change” but diet is much easier to say - and type) I have been crying on and off since about 9:30. I can’t stop thinking about Heidi. I am just so very sad - grieved really. And I do have faith - I really do. I’m not mad at God at all. I know He can heal her -and I know she’ll be really happy to go home. I’m just really sad, that’s all.
And with all the crying, and all the sad, and all the “There is nothing I can do to help” feelings… I have wanted to EAT. I wanted candy. I wanted to go get a Cafe Mocha. (something within me thinks that is a healing elixir - go fig) I wanted to have a third muffin after dinner - and I even got it out and put it in the microwave… I can have three carb servings a day, after all. And I’ve only had two. (both were muffins, obviously) But I’m only nominally hungry. And I realized that I don’t want the muffin for food. I want it for comfort. And we all know that is baaaaaad.
I’m telling you ladies. HABIT is the only thing that got me through this day, foodwise. Planned lunch. Thought out snack. Preplanned dinner. And the habit of munching raw veggies while I make dinner instead of chips. And the habit of water…. Otherwise I woulda eaten myself insensible today.
Form those habits!!!
And please keep praying for Heidi. She actually had a severe stroke. She’s not breathing on her own. Her pupils are responding to light, but there is major swelling in her brain. If she’s coming back as Heidi -we need a miracle.
Way to go blest, I am praying for Heidi
Comment by Kellie — February 20, 2007 @ 8:55 pm
Hang on in there. We’re with you and more importantly, God’s with you. And whatever happens, he’s got you, Heidi, the whole situation in his big strong hands. Still praying.
Comment by Bekki — February 21, 2007 @ 2:35 am
Blest — My heart is hurting for you (and Heidi) right now. Be assured that AMAZING things can happen. My husband’s mom had a massive stroke about 9 years ago. The doctor’s gave her 48 hours to live…..she made it through that…then they said she would be in a nursing home the rest of her life….she left the home…then they said she would never walk, move her left arm, talk again….wrong, wrong, and wrong again!! Be encouraged today and just be at peace in the Lord. I’ll be praying for you both along with her family.
Comment by Mandi — February 21, 2007 @ 6:52 am
I’m so sorry. Praying for you and her family. And thanking God that you have learned good eating habits.
Comment by Anita — February 21, 2007 @ 8:15 am
I’m so sorry about what you, and Heidi are going through. But how awesome the way you are reacting to it! You really are through the tough part of the diet, er, lifestyle change!!
I’ll continue to pray for Heidi…and you, my friend.
Comment by Bethany — February 21, 2007 @ 9:32 pm