take 1 overworked graduate student, choosing carefully to make sure it’s a 25-year-old one who’s recovering from a foot/toe injury
mix in a boyfriend of 2 years who’s graduating with his PhD in 7 months
sprinkle on the fact that the boyfriend most likely won’t find a job in the city where both are now currently in graduate school
stir in the graduate student’s advisor (aka: boss) choosing to take a faculty position all the way on the other side of the country, leaving the graduate student somewhat in limbo with having to decide (at some point) whether to stay or go
and…
vigorously add the realization in the 2-year relationship that the “make-or-break” (move forward or break up) decision should be made sometime in 2007.
And thus you have my life. Sheesh!
All that to say, my life is a little bit stressful right now. Thankfully, all of them are not decisions that have to be made tomorrow, or even this month, but they are all kind of stressful: Where will the boyfriend look for / get a job? Will he be able to find one that he likes in California or on the west coast somewhere near where I might end up for my last 2 years of graduate school? And, oh, the smallest (note the sarcasm in my typing) decision of all: Are we moving towards spending the rest of our life together or not?
Plus trying to eat healthy and work out. Which is somewhat easier because it’s one of the few things in my life that I have control over right now, but it’s also harder because stress makes me want yummy, greasy, trans-fat-filled, bad-for-me, fat-filled food.
That being said, if you think of me, prayers are appreciated, both now and really all of 2007. Additionally, as most of you have made it past the “are we meant to be together forever” question, I would appreciate any advice. Seriously. I’m even tempted to start another post just taking a poll of how you met your husbands, how you fell in love, when you knew he was “the one,” and how he proposed — especially in light of Valentine’s Day. I’d love to know especially how and when you knew that your husband was “the one.” 
Edit: The “disaster” in the subject line is related to not wanting to let my tendency to emotionally eat take over my life while everything else is being sorted out. I don’t know that I made that clear 
Anne, Sorry to hear you are majorly stressed. Question, just because he will get a job somewhere apart from you, why do you have to break up? Jeff and I never had to ask if it was meant to be. We knew each other for a couple years and suddenly an attraction began. I was the kind that didn’t date around though. I didn’t want to waste my time and emotions if I didn’t think I could see myself with someone for the rest of my life. Anyways…that’s neither here nor there. An attraction grew between us and I fought it like made because he is 18 yrs my senior. Yes ladies, please close your mouths now. I wouldn’t change it for the world. Anyhoots, I had a path that I walked everyday and from the path I could kind of see the bay. I was confused as whether or not to even continue in this new found attraction and so one particular day while I was at that “spot” that I so cherished I began talking to God. Now mind you, I was single and young so I only took clear paths where I didn’t think anyone would be lurking. While talking with God I saw a path to my left that I had never seen before. It was very overgrown and NOT something I would usually take but there was a voice inside prodding me to take it. I did. Maybe 20 yards from where I usually sat and looked at the bay and talked with God was a clearing in that overgrown path. At that moment inside of me I heard the words that sometimes there are paths that lie before us. They look scary and are something that we turn away from but if we trust sometimes they can wind up so much better than the path we would have chosen for ourselves. Yes the view was SO much clearer of the bay at the clearing in that overgrown path. Talk with God Anne. Have faith that God wants the best. Once you know what he wants for you, never second guess. For me second guessing leads to a place where Satan enters and pokes and prods.
Comment by Tami — February 2, 2007 @ 6:21 am
I’ll write up my story for ya Anne. It probably won’t help you much, though. But I’ll tell you this…If you can put up with him for two years (and vice versa, I’m sure) then I’m not sure where the doubt is coming from. My hubby was the only man I was ever in a relationship with that I didn’t get sick of in a coupla months.
Comment by blestwithsons — February 2, 2007 @ 7:07 am
Oh Anne, I will pray for you! I met my husband when I had totally given up on dating. I literally told the Lord that since I was terrible at choosing men, then he would have to choose the one for me. Within 2 months of meeting my husband, and after 1 official date, I knew he was the one. You all can read the rest over here.
Comment by Anita — February 2, 2007 @ 7:15 am
Tami, Hey — thanks for your story
As for your question, (why we would have to break up if he gets a job away from me) — we don’t have to break up, we know that we could do the long-distance thing. But we just want to figure out now (as best we can) if it’s worth 2+ years of long-distance, etc. And I wanted to hear everyone else’s stories of how they ended up with their men 
Blest, hahaha! You’re right — after 2 years we definitely know each other’s quirks inside and out.
Comment by Anne — February 2, 2007 @ 7:19 am
Well, I’m very much like Tami in that I wasn’t in to wasting my time with someone I didn’t see a future with. A few dates and I knew. Occassionally on the first date I was say, “this isn’t going to work…I’m sorry.” I wasted several years (off and on) in high school on a guy who ended up being a real jerk and I wasn’t going to do that again.
With my husband I knew very quickly (and so did he). We “dated” about 3 months before getting engaged (and had only known each other about 5 months) and almost eloped so we could get stationed together but figured our families would kill us if we did that. We were then stationed 10 hours apart for 13 months (10 month engagement and first 3 months of marriage). Had we not been stationed apart (with no option of being stationed together for at least one year) we would have married sooner than that….we were anxious to…well, you know
You’ve invested a lot of time, I guess that’s why I wasn’t willing to invest that kind of time unless I “knew” for sure - it makes it harder to break ties when you have an extensive history like that. I didn’t want to feel pressured into settling just because I’d been with a guy for such and such amount of time. So, I cut ‘em loose fairly quickly lol. Some called me cold but I had prayed for the Lord to protect me from the junk I dealt with in high school and to flat out tell me who I was to be with forever and ever. I’ll never forget the night during my Bible study when God told me (Erik was just an attractive guy in my class at that point). I remember saying, “are you sure God? He’s got different political and religious views than I do.” God told me to trust Him and I got to witness a transformation that was unbelievable in that man…and all before we started dating officially.
man, there is so much more to our story than that but I know for a fact that it was a match made in heaven. I was very picky though, very very picky and had all but given up on dating when he stepped into my life. Ask God Anne - your story will be unique to you and God knows what that story is to be….just don’t settle for anything less than God’s best for you. Maybe that’s your boyfriend…maybe it’s not - only God knows. I probably could have had a “good” marriage with some of the guys I dated….but I wasn’t looking for “good” - I was looking for “GREAT” and I got it. We’ll celebrate 12 years of marriage this summer and I’m more in love with him than I was the day we married…and I would have never thought that was even possible.
Ok, this is getting way long but this is one of my favorite topics…can you tell? lol. ((Hugs)) Anne - I’ll pray for you in this hon…as my dad says, who you choose to marry is the most important decision of your life…second only to the decision to believe in Christ! So yeah, it’s a big deal…no pressure right?
Comment by Blair — February 2, 2007 @ 8:15 am
I know it can be hard to look at a future of 2 or more years apart, but it can be done. I met my husband when I was 15. He left for college eight months later. We knew each other for a total of 6 1/2 years before we got married, and only saw each other during the summer. Even then, it wasn’t much, because we both worked summer jobs. You should see my long distance bills from college! Anyway, I dated a bunch of other guys, but I always came back to him. He was the only one I couldn’t stop thinking about, the only one I wanted to share everything with.
I should add that at the point where we’d only known each other 8 months, I heard a voice tell me that I would marry him. I didn’t believe it. We even broke up for a while. But it was meant to be.
Comment by Jana — February 2, 2007 @ 12:15 pm
Well, I ain’t got no man, but I know what you’re wondering. I would either have to “know” that he was the one or I would have to move on too. At my age, I can’t be playin’ around and waste two more good child-bearin’ years.
To a one, all my girlfriends knew within a couple of months that their husband was the one. And thankfully, he agreed-lol.
Prayers heading your way.
Comment by lady laura — February 2, 2007 @ 4:00 pm